Channeling Isis – when Set arrives legless

One of my more recent tasks has been to reconnect with the Egyptian God Set. This Deity has fascinated me for years. With the breaking down of my old self I realise that my focus needs to be more balanced. Although Loki and Family are still truly Beloved to me, I have neglected ties with many of my Beloved Egyptian Deities.

As recompense I said prayers to Set, asking Him if He still wished to work with me, and if He would grant me His protection. I said I would like to buy a bigger statue for Him, as the current one was only around 2 inches high – the smallest on the altar. A good Set statue is hard to find in the UK, and I looked online but couldn’t find one.

Two days later I was sat in front of my altar and my attention was drawn to a book on my right. It was an Ancient Egyptian Herbal by Lise Manniche. I had done bits of bibliomancy before, so took the hint and turned to a random page. The entry was for Watermelon. According to the book Watermelon was created when Set spilled his seed chasing Isis in the form of a bull. It was used in a wine for protection against evil ‘demons’. Since I’d asked for Set’s protection during a very difficult and vulnerable time I took it as a sign. I looked online for Watermelon wine but to no avail. I did, however, come across some Watermelon liqueur. Asking Set through my pendulum whether he would like the liqueur for offerings I got a resounding “Yes” and ordered it.

Later that afternoon I got an ebay alert saying a Set statue had been listed! Now, you could look at this as three completely unconnected, random events, but I choose not to. To me this is cause and effect: you pray and make reparations, you ask for help, and express a wish to more openly honour Them, and They respond.

Continue reading

Prayer for passing over

For my Danish Great Aunty Else, who had a wicked sense of humour, loved Robert Ludlum books, Midsomer Murders, Chinese food, ‘collecting’, birds, and her family.

May you be held
In comforting arms
As you go
Upon your way,
May you leave
With loving thoughts
And memories of better days.
May you always be remembered
In our hearts
And in our prayers,
As you take
The next step
On your soul’s
Flight of stairs.

She will now sit with her sister, nephew and parents in my family shrine. I have a wooden comb she gave me when I was 8, and will always think of her when I use it.

Loki and Sigyn: facilitators for deep healing and Shadow integration

Loki and Sigyn by Michelle, Northern Tamarisk

If Sigyn is the Goddess of holding space (see previous post) perhaps Loki is the one who takes our hand and let’s us know it’s safe to open up. He is the one who encourages us to express our most vulnerable selves. All the while Sigyn holds the bowl, catching any poison and throwing it away. Together They are the ones who support us through the deepest levels of healing.

If there was ever a Deity suited to helping us heal our own Shadow it is Loki – He who knows His own, Who loves all His children; knows how to love the seemingly unlovable. He is also the one who calls out hypocrisy and the Shadows of the Gods Themselves. He is the one who helps us heal our deepest wounds.
When we are in our own caves, bound by things once dear to us, upon rocks of our own shame, Loki is there with us. He knows the agony, the torment, on a whole other level. But knowing the cave as He does He can help us through our own time in the Underworld. When our own Shadows, our own repressed selves, drip down onto us, tearing us apart, He is there. 

All the while Sigyn, compassion personified, holds us steady. She takes us in Her arms like She holds the bowl, letting the Shadow poison spill out, helping us to heal. She lets us know She’s there whenever we need Her again. She will always return to hold the bowl when needed.

What we need to hold on to during this process is that, somehow, Loki made it out of the cave. Somehow He was freed from the darkness, and Sigyn could finally rest Her strong but weary arms and heart. That means we can make it out of the darkness too. We can start to reclaim our lives, go out into the world and do what we’re meant to do. We are all the stronger for having been through our trials.

They are a partnership for deep healing. For how do we heal the Shadow? With understanding acceptance and compassion. Loki and Sigyn.

When the masks fall we meet Them as we Are

I have often enjoyed reading the works of mystics and contemplatives from different traditions. Those two words call to me again now. I have remarked to others several times before that I seemed to have been cast in a role akin to a pagan nun, not necessarily by choice, more through circumstance and beliefs.

I re-read Upon the Mountain: Prayer in the Carmelite Tradition by Sister Mary McCormack of the Carmelites last night and was reminded so much of the all-pervasive love I held for my Beloveds before the loss and upheaval of the last 6-7 weeks, the last month in particular. Sister Mary’s words reminded me of how my whole world seemed coloured by contemplation of Them, particularly Loki and Sigyn.

I wept as I read, because not only did her words remind me of what I have (for now, at least) lost, but because she speaks of the “dark night of the soul” where we face our own shadows, where all we hold dear falls away and leaves us grasping in the dark, often affecting our connection with the Divine. Yet Sister Mary, through her own words, those of St Therese of Avila and St John of the Cross, gives hope.
Only when we are broken down, only when we face those harsh truths about ourselves can we stand before the Divine, no longer encumbered by masks. Only then can we enter into a truer relationship with the Divine; one that transcends anything that may have come before. When we stand as we Are we greet our God(s) with our true face, our true Self, and any preconceptions of how we relate to Them can fall away, allowing our God(s) to in turn reveal more of Their true Selves to us.

So I have hope again. I am remembering once more that all roads lead back to Them, no matter the detours.
I am also determined in these things: never again will I allow the words and misconceptions of another to poison my link with the Gods. Never again will I forget that though I may go through trials They are always there. My heart is Theirs, my love is Theirs, my devotion is Theirs. All I go through breaks down barriers and leaves me a better person, and a more open heart to receive Their loving guidance.

With love and a sapling heart I reach once more for Them.

My deepest thanks go to J, who lent me the book that has provided such solace for my heart, and returned my determination to keep reaching for Them. Little did we know how important this tiny book would become only a matter of weeks later. May your Beloveds hold you deep within Their hearts.

Upon the Mountain: Prayer in the Carmelite Tradition can be bought from the Notting Hill Carmelites –http://carmelitesnottinghill.org.uk/product/upon-this-mountain-2/

Shadows in the Dark

A contradictory title? If, like me, you’re currently ‘exploring’ the Underworld it may make more sense. My journey into the Underworld began in February, on the day my brother flew back to America. It was like some energy that had been stirred within when he arrived was suddenly unleashed by his departure. You see, in our family my brother is the trailblazer, the independent spirit who tries to shake us up and convince us to leave our safe cocoons. The Gods seem to be in agreement.

During this Underworld journey I have been in the dark about so many things. One after another old constructs, things and people I once held dear, and my safety net have been ripped away. While painful and sometimes terrifying in the empty potential they leave behind it has been my Shadow Self that has repeatedly reared its head.

Just when I feel I can catch my breath yet another dark, unlovable part of my Self arises, hungry for attention. Because I’ve pushed them down for so long, ignored or denied them, they have chosen very visible ways to make themselves known to me – most notably in communication with others.

While I like to believe I’m a good, honourable, ‘light’ individual I have had to face up to the fact that I can also – on occasion – be a darker, selfish, judgemental person. Not often, but boy have those Selves made themselves known in the last few weeks.

Yes, my Shadow Selves are having a field day,  rearing their heads like those whack-a-mole games you see at fairs or the pier. Continue reading

Shared post: Transitions by Rowansong

 Rowansong has a beautiful post up today. It encompasses so much of what we go through, and these paragraphs in particular speak to me:

If we truly want change then we need to stop feeding the old habits, behaviours, thinking or choices and trust them to fall away in their own time instead of investing in them or allowing feelings of failure or self-reprimand to creep in. Even if we have to go back into our past to understand and come to terms with our previous choices, this is still moving us forwards, it is new growth.

When we commit our energy and our focus to what we want to create, to change, to grow, to heal or transform – when we act and make choices that are aligned with the new cycle rather than the old – then we have what we need to carry us through to the spring that supports us in establishing the changes we have longed for.

You can read the full post here:
Transitions – http://wp.me/p1B0uc-cs

3 Years of Loki

Today marks the third anniversary of Loki coming into my life.

During this time I have come to the conclusion that I will never fully understand this nebulous Being. Even his facets have facets. Rather than being discouraged this just means there will always be more to ask about, explore and ponder. There will never be a dull devotional moment with Loki in your life.

Although I have had experiences with him in his role as gift-giver, wordsmith and inspirer it is his role as worldbreaker that has helped me the most. Loki’s lessons can be harsh; he can burn all around you like wildfire until there is only ash. So many things have ended, changed or become unviable in these last three years, but somehow I have made it through. Even long-cherished and fought-for aspects have had to be thrown onto the pyre. Loki allows me the time to grieve, he is there watching over, then he tells me it’s time to move on. So I pick myself up, wipe the ash and tear streaks from my face and body, and I gaze around me at where I am now. Like a sapling I reach for the light of the new world I have awoken to, trying to draw strength from that which nourishes me. Loki and Sigyn are teaching me what truly nourishes me, and every time they feel I’m ready Loki burns another bridge to the past, the old and defunct. Sometimes I despair that I lose yet more, but knowing He and They are there, that They believe I can get through it, is what keeps me going.

Continue reading